My sweet cousin lost her baby this weekend. I think she was about 7 months along. My heart is breaking for her. I don't know exactly how she feels because we all feel differently, but I have an idea. I'm broken hearted for what lays in front of her.


I talked to a friend on Saturday who apologized that she hadn't called me since we lost the baby. Although she just said "since it happened". She said "I didn't get you called and then I didn't want to bring it up." I tried to say it nicely but I said "There is no bringing it up, it's always there." Why are people so afraid of this? You're not going to make me (or anyone else who is grieving) think of something they've forgotten. They think about it all the time. Tears really aren't all that bad and besides that I don't cry at the drop of a hat (or a word)! The other day one of my friends mentioned my love for my baby. It made my heart jump for joy! Someone else remembered I have a baby that I love and still ache for. Thank you!

We are going on with life, but it still hurts. I have a hard time planning or thinking things through. I have no attention span and no creativity. My brain is shot. I am failing in my work and have a hard time following through with commitments. It's not because I don't want to do those things, it's because I can't.


While I was online today I found this letter. It's perfect.


My dear ________________ (Family, Friends, Pastor, Employer…),

I have experienced a loss that is devastating to me. It will take time, perhaps years, for me to work through the grief I feel because of this loss. I will cry more than usual for some time. My tears are not a sign of weakness or a lack of hope or faith. They are the symbols of the depth of my loss and the sign that I am recovering. I may become angry without seeming to have a reason for it. My emotions are heightened by the stress of grief. Please be forgiving if I seem irrational at times. I need your understanding and your presence more than anything else. If you don’t know what to say, just touch me or give me a hug to let me know you care. Please don’t wait for me to call you. I am often too tired to even think of reaching out for the help I need. Don’t allow me to withdraw from you. I need you more than ever during the next year. Pray for me only if your prayer is not an order for me to make you feel better. My faith does not excuse me from the grief process. If you have had an experience of loss that seems anything like mine, please share it with me. You will not make me feel worse. This loss is one of the worst things that could happen to me. But I will get through it and I will live again. I will not always feel as I do now. I will laugh again. Thank you for caring about me. Your concern is a gift I treasure.

Sincerely,(your name)