Give Myself Permission to Voice My Opinion

Believe it or not, this is actually part of my living out loud. Today I'm giving myself permission to voice my opinion. I used to be a very opinionated person. Some people might say I still am. But I actually keep most of my opinions to myself. I've learned most of the time people don't want to hear my opinion, they just want to be heard. And I also don't like to be told my opinion is wrong. But today, today I HAVE to express this opinion. And you can tell me it's wrong if you want, but you probably won't change my mind.

I think this is one of the VERY few times I have used my blog for something political but it's my blog and I can do that.

The government, in an effort to reduce spending, let an extension on unemployment "expire". To about 93% of the country that means nothing. They are not effected nor do they care. But to that 7% it is life altering and devastating. Right now in Washington DC they are deciding if they should reinstate those payments. I hear it's passed the senate.

Let me interject here, I am not sharing this for any pity or handouts. In fact that's the last thing I want- so don't do it!!!

We are part of that 7% that is deeply effected. Doug lost his unemployment pay this week. I've been thinking about this. It sucks! It sucks bad! Yes, I work. I earn enough that I make our house payment and can pay for a few other things. Probably about 1/4 of what our needs are. And when I say needs, I mean needs. Doug's unemployment made up part of that other 3/4. On paper we always come up short, somehow, I believe through divine intervention (usually through earth angels), we have not bounced a check or not been able to feed our family or lost our house or had our electricity turned off.

What I'm really thinking about now is the effect this political game is having on our economy and how far reaching that will be. I think about our own little family and what this means to us. It means I am pulling Katie out of voice lessons (the only extracurricular thing any of my kids are still involved in). This is too bad for Katie, she comes alive when she sings. But her teacher it's taking her income away too, and she also has an unemployed husband. For groceries we will use only what is in our house and what we can forage from my mom's house. There will be no trips to the store or to take the kids to their friends house that take extra gas. There is a whole stack of medical bills sitting here that will not be paid for a while. This is just a drop in the bucket of our money that is not being spent. And our little family is just a drop in the bucket. I think about how much this effects the economy, it's a snowball. And there are thousands of other families out there in the exact same predicament. Because of the trickle down or snowball effect I think many more than just that 7% are going to be impacted by this decision.

I know that our government needs to curb spending. And I know that there are no easy answers and honestly, I'm not offering any. I don't get paid $174,000/year to come up with those ideas. But if they really want to stimulate the economy and they really want to help their constituents, there ought to be something else they can cut. Maybe their salary? I bet they could survive on a few thousand less dollars.

Now don't start in on me about living on welfare. As a person who works with payroll almost everyday of my life, I don't believe unemployment is welfare. I know how much employers pay for unemployment benefits for their employees. In some industries, like construction, employers can be paying as much as 10% of your wage for unemployment insurance. And that's exactly what it is, insurance. We've paid into it for 20 years and we will pay into it for another 25 years. I also don't believe that it should be a long term solution for an unemployed person but it's not. And it's not for someone who is not doing everything in their power to get back to work. So, there it is, my opinion. Take it for what it's worth. But I feel better getting it out there.

Giving myself permission is hard

Wow! Giving myself permission is harder than I expected it to be.

It actually started out pretty great. My first time I gave myself permission was to play Chutes & Ladders with Mick instead of cleaning my bathroom. I've resented all the things that haven't allowed me to spend that time "just being" with my kids. Today I gave myself permission to spend that time with him. Time well spent! Although it was a lesson in patience. ;)



But being aware of me and giving myself permission to feel what I feel and do what I need is difficult. The number of emotions I felt in one day was amazing. And accepting that emotions are ok is hard for me. I can accept and embrace everyone else's emotions but mine are much harder. There was happiness, love, jealousy, sadness, gratitude, frustration and anxiety. I'm sure that these are normal to feel all in one day but I'm not sure I've ever fully acknowledged these feelings. And the anxiety, oh the anxiety! I'm really putting myself out there by making this so public. That's hard. So hard.

I had just saved this post, wondering if I had the courage to put it out to the world when I heard Mick cry out from his bed. Normally I ignore him and let him put himself back to sleep. Tonight I decided to give myself permission to go love him. It made the whole day worth it! That few minutes of cuddling, hugging, whispering, kissing and smiles made every emotion and stress I felt today worth it. It truly is worth it to Live out loud!

Live Out Loud: Give Yourself Permission

The first one I'm working on is: Give Yourself Permission. I think this is the perfect place to start, I'm giving myself permission to be me, to feel what it is that I feel, to act how I act and be what I am. I've spent so much of my life trying to become better, to improve, that I forgot that I am a good person as I am. So, for these next few days I am giving myself permission. I've had the opportunity to spend quite a bit of time talking to a wise person the last few months, one of the things he always tells me is; "You're not super-human and you're not sub-human, you're just human and that is enough." So, I am giving myself permission to be human.

Give yourself permission. (from tinybuddha.com)

For everything. Permission to make mistakes. Permission to shine. Permission to look beautiful. Permission to accept (instead of correct or dismiss) praise. Permission to have bad days. Permission to get angry. Permission to cry, to laugh, to scream. Permission to take the day off. Permission to take a nap, go to sleep early. Permission to get a massage. Permission to do nothing. Permission to succeed.

Life is about being here now, in all your full range of emotions, mood swings, wins and losses. Give yourself permission to live out loud today.

I found a song that I love and goes along with my mission to Live out Loud:

(and yes, I will be trying to getting Katie to sing this song)

"Live Out Loud" from Andrew Lippa's "A Little Princess"

(click on the link for the you tube video of the song)

I don't wanna go along with the crowd
Don't wanna live life under a cloud
Give me some air and space
And sun on my face
I wanna live out loud

Don't wanna be alone in the crowd
Don't wanna seem peculiar and proud
I need to be as free 
As I know how to be
I wanna live out loud

Every day - sleep, walk, lock, step
No one dares to stray
Though they may - straightlaced, shamefaced
Long to break away
They're as lonely as can be
Is that what they want from me?

I don't wanna go along with the crowd
Don't wanna live life under a cloud
Give me some air and space
And sun on my face
I wanna live out loud

Don't wanna be alone in the crowd
Don't wanna seem peculiar and proud
Nobody wants me here
But I won't be disappear
I wanna live out loud

I wanna run down an open shoreline
I wanna join in a moonlit dance
I wanna swing with the branches of a tree
I wanna bathe in a hidden inlet
And let the breeze come and dry my hair
I want the life they took away from me

If they makes me headstrong - fine!
That's a fault I'm glad is mine.

I don't wanna go along with the crowd
Don't want my spirit broken and bowed
Why do I have to hide what I'm feeling inside
I wanna live out loud

Don't wanna be alone in the crowd
I only want what I'm not allowed
Give me the wings of a bird
I'll be seen and be heard

I wanna sing when my heart is full
I wanna sing and I wanna fly
I wanna soar the sky without a cloud
I wanna live out loud