Dumb title, didn't know what else to call it! I promise, one day this blog will have pictures and be about something else, but right now this is our life.
We have had much support. I'm amazed at the friends coming out of the woodwork through e-mails and phone calls, etc... Your comments on my blog really help too. Thank you!
Today I've struggled with the physical part of this. Unfortunately I still have all the post delivery "stuff" that a woman has to endure (no tearing so it is a little bit easier). So, the problem is this- I don't feel that well but I am going absolutely crazy with my mind having nothing to do. So today I tried to deep clean my bathroom- hasn't been done in 4 months (poor Doug, he tried to keep up with everything...) I got about 1/2 done and I was "done". Tons of cramping, etc... Ugh! So frustrating! I've realized that is how I've made it through the other deaths I've had to deal with, keeping myself busy, but I can't do that now. I also realized with a normal delivery I would have still been in the hospital, not cleaning bathrooms or going to mortuaries or any of those fun things. So, patience, with myself, is what I'm learning today. I guess I'm not that patient with myself, I expect a lot and can usually pull it off but I guess learning humility is another lesson...
I'm also still having the kidney issue. I guess part of me was hoping that it would all pass too. I called the urologist and that about did me in. That's not what I am suppose to be doing today, I'm not suppose to deal with that for another few months. I guess that's all part of our "new normal."
Friday Night
1 year ago
4 comments:
you need to take it easy. Why don't you scrapbook? Work on some easy projects to keep you busy that aren't a lot of physical energy. Sorry about reminding you about the urologist!
I enjoyed talking to you today. Talk it easy, and know that we love you.
I think I can speak from experience so here goes. Nothing makes it go away. No one can tell you why. Often there is no way even to know how. No one can tell you that they know how you feel even if they do know someone who has had the same experience. We all feel differently even if the circumstances are the same. Again, nothing makes it go away. Time helps it to not hurt so much. You know how to push through pain and that's all you can do. Remember all those who care about you and your family--one of those is me.
I loved your grandma's comment. So true! Time, patience and love is what you need. Be patient with yourself and know that we all love you. I would LOVE to come hang out with you and chat while I cleaned for you. I would seriously do it in a heartbeat if I was there! Love you tons!
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